Sligv Vreen Orxy

He’s a genius I’d say so myself, giving me something different than just an interview

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

DOUGLAS WRENT: Now, I want you to take these ten pieces of paper and write anything you want.

ME: Anything?

DOUGLAS WRENT: Yes, because we’re going to put it in the next issue of Entertainment Weekly. I don’t care if you swear, mock people, write, or just draw pictures, I just need something to give the editors to work with.

ME: Okay, will a couple of reasons why I hate this industry so much work?

DOUGLAS WRENT: Whatever floats your boat.

ME: Right, then I’ll get back to you tomorrow.

DOUGLAS WRENT: Okay, cool, do you need any clarifications before you begin?

ME: I’m fine, how hard could this be anyway? I was a literature nerd in school, I at least know how to write some amazing stories that will have your audience gripping for more.

DOUGLAS WRENT: I’m going to have to leave you, it’s our policy that our interviews not last more than two hours. Just make sure that you’re going to keep your word and finish this tonight.

ME: Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there early in the morning.

[DOUGLAS WRENT hangs up the phone]

ME: What the heck am I supposed to do now? Well, I guess this is cooler than talking crap all the time to him. I can’t believe he printed that last interview after my album went platinum. It was one of those off days and I will never forgive myself for it. Let’s see…

[begins to write] I hate celebrities because…

This is going to take me longer than I expected.

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