Sligv Vreen Orxy

Why should we listen to someone that insists they’re healthy when just a few seconds ago they stated in an interview that they had to lose 20 pounds in one week for the commercial?

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

It is recommended that people only lose two pounds a week, but when you’re in Hollywood, losing half your body weight is what’s necessary to get a nice little gig as a spokesperson on a fitness program. What’s so bad about getting $10 million from doing a minute out of your time? Well, the fact that you’re lying to the public is one thing!

I actually witnessed some girl the other day, she was going on about how she’s loving her new waist and being less curvy to Jay Leno, then as I was walking backstage, she came in and fainted. I always joke and say that it was because she was a big fan and I left her breathless, but then I remember that she wasn’t a lesbian and that she was walking around with diet pills in her pocket.

Trust me, I don’t think I’m the healthiest person myself, but when you go to the fancy restaurants, you get three choices off the menu: the $100 menu for people that are not hungry, the $100 menu for people that are starving, and the $100 menu for people that need to lose 20 pounds by tomorrow. So in reality, they don’t actually have to do anything, they just have to mke sure that they’re eating out on a daily basis.

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