Sligv Vreen Orxy

George Carlin: I didn’t like his humor

Posted in Essays by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 24, 2009

I grew up watching George Carlin as Mr. Conductor in Shining Time Station and used to love his narration in the Thomas stories, I don’t enjoy the newer Alec Baldwin ones and think that the singing children are a tad irritating. Nonetheless, it’s always going to be something that I remember being obsessed with growing up. I never realized that Shining Time Station didn’t last that long, seems like all the best children shows on PBS have vanished.

My dad had George Carlin on the TV the other day, since we have On Demand and can watch anything we want that’s on there and they have a stand up section. I happened to walk in when he was talking about America and how we show too much pride for a country that is governed by people that force us to give them what they want. None of that really bothered me, it was when he got to religion that I started to get a bit annoyed.

Now, I’m not a religious person, never have, probably never will. I do pray, but it’s like, I only do it to add a bit of spiritual luck in my life. I always ask for my family and friends to be kept in good health and to give them happiness, that’s as far as it goes. Carlin implies that we spend too much money and that we get nothing back from it… Well, I’m always going to be happy to provide a dollar or two to my local church to keep it open for those that need it. I don’t nessiarly think it’s going to God, but if it pays for a new coat of paint or to buy supplies for the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine programs, then I’m fine with it. Pay for what you use the most, because you’re the one who’s keeping it alive.

He also thinks that praying is no good and you’re better off praying to someone that can actually help you, well, I feel that when I pray, it’s my way of admitting to things I’ve done and tells me that I’m not the idiot that knows nothing like some people believe me to be, it helps me deal with my problems better in some sort of way.

Another thing he spoke about was children, and you know, being on a children’s television show, I would have thought he’d at least respected them. The first thing he said was that there was nothing hard about raising a child, and said you should leave them on the street and if they were there the following week, that your kid was “stupid.” He also said that every child is not special, and that’s just something I disagree about because I look around at my brother’s school and everyone reacts differently to things. You have one kid who cries, one kid who laughs, another who gets in shocked, etc. I think everyone’s special in the way they’re brought up, taught, and use their knowledge to achieve their goals.

So I don’t particularly agree with anything the man said, and I think he makes some controversial points, however I will say that this man has served the entertainment industry for a long time now, doing a lot of great for Hollywood. I didn’t realize he died last year until today, well, RIP, and takes for allowing me to write a great article!

Disney films are actually pretty boring (in my own opinion)

Posted in The Reality of Life by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 18, 2009

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Let’s face it, most kindergardeners and first graders have probably never seen the original Disney animated films. They just aren’t as appealing as the Pixar or 3D technologies that have replaced them. The other thing is that those of us that do own any of these films probably have them in the VHS format, and who really owns one of those machines these days? We have one in the house, but the last time we moved the TV around we didn’t bother hooking it back up. We also have that U-Verse package that lets you watch a good selection of new and old films for free, so it’s not as if we have to dig up the cassette anyway.

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Pre-1989 releases, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmatians, The Aristocats, and Oliver & Company are the only ones which I love watching over and over again. They have various settings in them, aren’t about teenage girls who work too hard/and or their stepmother hating them, and they’re actually fun and entertaining! I’m not just talking about the musical content (really only Oliver & Company), but the feeling it gives you while you’re watching and once it’s finished. A year or so ago, I finally got to see The Fox and the Hound (at the age of 19), I could not believe that a company that markets happy endings could release something so inhumane. I went to my room and started bawling because for being a kids movie, it was too close to what the reality of it all is. If there was one movie I would never let my kids see, it’d definitely be that one.

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Of course, I think that too much fantasy is not good for children, which is why I love the films mentioned above. Of course, animals can’t talk, or play instruments, but they’re realistic enough to be believable. I don’t believe in magic, rats can’t put together a dress, and you’d pretty much die from eating a poisoned apple. If you’ve never seen Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Cinderella, you can guess the ending five minutes after figuring out the plot. I couldn’t tell you what happens in the middle of them either, I just know that there was a mirror and that she hung out with mice.

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My favorite Disney animated films come from the late eighties/early nineties: The Little Mermaid and The Lion King. Not only did they have the most memorable songs, but unlike Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin, they had color. The music was fantastic aswell, modern sounding at that time, easy for us kids to sing the lyrics to all day long. They were marketing them very well at the time too, so my friends and I had all the plush toys, stickers, and books. Sadly, Pocahontas ended up being all over my room, had my walls and bed plastered with her, regret that now. I don’t remember the last time I watched it.

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I don’t think it’s because I’m growing up either, more like I can finally judge them now that I have the ability to understand them. I know that Disney’s whole purpose is to provide family entertainment, but some of these so called “Masterpieces” aren’t. In this century, they haven’t come out with any real winners either. Can I just say that not even adults will enjoy a story about history with bland characters and a boring plot? The Emperor’s New Groove and Lilo and Stitch were great, but the marketing campaign that followed (television shows, sequels) took the magic away from it too soon, at a minimum, they should wait at least three years.

They’d rather fight a speeding ticket in court than spend half a day’s worth of income to pay it off, leading to more money wasted

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

They never can believe that they’ve just ran a red light and have been pulled over by a cop. Come on, people do this on a daily basis, it’s not like you’re the only one getting punished for it. As a citizen of this country, you have a right to be stopped by anyone who believes you might be doing something illegal. Sure, sometimes they do charge you a bit more, but you should be paying more attention to the laws as outlined in your local headquarters.

The other thing is that these people are always trying to fight it, rather than just go and write a check for the ticket. Why try and fight a case when they’re photographic, video, and documented evidence that you’re the one to blame? So people would rather ditch out thousands of dollars for a quack lawyer and make him lie for you rather than pay a three-hundred dollar fine. Sometimes I think these celebrities are full o bullshit and don’t deserve to be out there on their own.

Even the Nigerians would kill to have their power, them being the biggest scammers in the world

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

The people who buy into that Disney Channel crap are being mislead and scammed. These people don’t have talent, nor do they really care about the industry in general. They are found, polished, and brought into the public as talking sticks with wigs. Really, how many times have you said that you’d really like to go to a Disney concert to see The Jonas Brothers lip-sync? I know sometimes they don’t, but pretty much every artist does it at one point.

The Jonas Brothers are pretty pathetic to say the least, singing about being in love and breaking up when they actually have no idea how to control a relationship. Their songs are just as bad, being about girls obsessing over them, having all those nice things, and loving the world. Everyone sings about all those things, there’s nothing really different about them except that they have the Disney label attached to them.

Oh, and Hannah Montana, she has the biggest loud mouth ever, and acts like she’s a five year-old brat who wants to control the world. I heard that she isn’t exactly healthy either, keeping Big Macs and Coca-Colas all over her dressing rooms. I can’t believe that little girls aspire to be like her. At a performance, she kept having to breathe really hard between tracks because she doesn’t have the lung capacity to keep on singing.

Their lives are like being a Verizon customer, their network of people always have the last say

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

Going back to that Britney Spears reference I made, she has a group of people who are also there wherever she goes. Even if they’re not exactly there in that sense that they’re present, she has that problem where people always know where she is, she has her father controlling her, the label management, her family, her kids, and of course is always surrounded by the paparazzi.

She hasn’t got that freedom that normal people have, and even on her own, the paparazzi are always going to be the people who determine which way she goes. She can go and hide in a mall somewhere and be okay, but going to a friend’s house will only allow them to surround the area. Of course, that’s always going to be a problem for these people, hanging out at their friend’s house for a day. It’s only opening doors to more trouble.

Not only because people will start to surround that area to catch a glimpse, but idiots will break in and steal some photos that they’ll sell for a grand in the parking lot. In this economy, people aren’t always thinking, they’re always in for the quick buck. Heck, even I would be more than interested in doing that on a daily basis if it made me better money than making and selling records!

There is no such thing as having feelings in Hollywood, it’s just a face full of makeup that’s trying to get you to agree with them

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

There is no one in Hollywood that’s really “suffering” if I say so myself. They think that putting on these mini plays will get the public to agree with them, thus making their latest film or television show a success. Think of them like a little puppy dog, the poor thing just wants you to play with it because he’s not getting any action from the neighbor’s poodle next door.

Celebrities will go mentally crazy if they know that what they’re doing will help them get their next paycheck. They are wicked people who like to play games on us all the time. I bet you a lot of them shoplift too, you know, just so they can find out how common people make it through life. Some people just won’t say it because they’re afraid of losing the court case.

I bet you they even try and go into the video store and go like, “Oh, but I’m in this movie, I’m entitled to get it free!” on like every film they want to see. None of these people really get to spend their money because everything is totally free for them. They don’t even pay for those dresses that are almost five-thousand dollars! They obviously don’t have a nice wardrobe filled with clothes though, looking at what they’re always wearing when shopping at the mall or local supermarkets.

An actor can pretend to be a rock star, but a rock star cannot pretend to be a hero

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

There is no way even a voice like mine could make anyone want to stop their singing career to go back to acting, but the fact that singers want to be actors now just kills me. Who says that just because a singer can write his own music means that he can go on to starring on a hit blockbuster? You cannot expect to handle the two jobs at the same time, because it’s too time consuming.

As a music producer, let me tell you this: I’m tired of being blamed for not getting someone’s single to number one. I can fix a song to the best of my ability, but can you for once think it may be due to the fact that the public just aren’t interested in your style at the moment? You can’t just be, “Oh that’s great!” for one day then ask for your $10,000 back the following week.

An actor has the ability to use his skills to become a one band man, playing the piano, tuba, drums, and guitar at the same time. He can be taught how to play a song and be able to go outside and show the audience he can a hour later. You can tell an actor a certain thing and they’ll be able to pull it off using their trademark.

A singer, on the other hand, has no way of feeling emotion unless he can get a hold of the moment. There’s never going to be the drummer who’s obsessed with Shakespeare and debuting in a Romeo & Juliet play, it’s that when pigs can fly situation that has to come into play.

Writing your autobiography does not mean to publish something that will be so offensive that you get sued

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

A lot of celebrities have been writing their own books to release to the public, you know, so they get to “know” them a little better. Then, they find out that the public doesn’t really care much about them and think that they wasted a good twenty dollar bill to go read about their boring, same old famous life. That book then gets thrown away next to their old Richard Simmons workout videos.

So what have they done to get the rest of the public’s attention (the ones who don’t bother in buying it)? Well, they put in something nasty about their sister, who then reads it with disgust and calls them up to share some explicit language and demands for every copy to be pulled off the shelf. When she obviously doesn’t get her way, she calls all her friends and family and takes it to court.

These people don’t even care that you’re related to them either, they’re willing to take every single penny from you, and of course, at this point it doesn’t even matter because you sell a million copies by the time the first court meeting starts. So, you’ve made all the lawyer fees and whatever the bitch wants. Some people just end on that note so they don’t have to worry about having to get them more and get into debt.

Why should we listen to someone that insists they’re healthy when just a few seconds ago they stated in an interview that they had to lose 20 pounds in one week for the commercial?

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

It is recommended that people only lose two pounds a week, but when you’re in Hollywood, losing half your body weight is what’s necessary to get a nice little gig as a spokesperson on a fitness program. What’s so bad about getting $10 million from doing a minute out of your time? Well, the fact that you’re lying to the public is one thing!

I actually witnessed some girl the other day, she was going on about how she’s loving her new waist and being less curvy to Jay Leno, then as I was walking backstage, she came in and fainted. I always joke and say that it was because she was a big fan and I left her breathless, but then I remember that she wasn’t a lesbian and that she was walking around with diet pills in her pocket.

Trust me, I don’t think I’m the healthiest person myself, but when you go to the fancy restaurants, you get three choices off the menu: the $100 menu for people that are not hungry, the $100 menu for people that are starving, and the $100 menu for people that need to lose 20 pounds by tomorrow. So in reality, they don’t actually have to do anything, they just have to mke sure that they’re eating out on a daily basis.

They sold the rights to their children to a popular magazine the day they were born

Posted in Celebrities are a Dying Form of Art by Sligv Vreen Orxy on May 17, 2009

No matter how much they want their kids to have a normal life, it will never happen. Selling pictures of your child being born should be outlawed because it’s like giving the public permission to go after them. Some of these people believe that their child has the right to go to a public school for their education, then you realize that some soccer mom has sold the team photo to People Weekly.

God gave you a child to be proud of, to care for, and to raise; God did not give you a child to parade around the paparazzi, sell photos of them for extra money, or to put them in danger. Being a celebrity, you should be aware that not everyone your child will meet at school will be safe, especially when at least 24 parents know who’s parents are those of the little blonde girl with pigtails.

There will always be people who won’t be able to keep their mouth shut, and trust me, I know a lot of parents like that. You can tell a mother one thing and all of the sudden the whole city will know. Not to mention that sometimes your kid won’t know better and will answer a stranger’s question. They’re just a kid anyway and you should keep up with them instead of leaving them in one country while you’re in another.

A worry most celebrities have is when their child gets older. You know, your teenager is trying to be like Britney Spears and just have some fun, then she ends up going around to her friends for a party. Oops, you either have a grandson on the way, or she’s just made a complete fool of herself in front of the camera! We have enough Paris Hiltons in the world already, we don’t want to add another one to the list.

If it’s a boy, you always are on the lookout for any weird behavior he might throw at you. To be honest, you just can’t keep teenagers from experimenting with drug substances. They’re going to be either into the drinking or the smoking, and while they can get help with it later, you don’t want to be the person who’s related to them or it’s going to be all eyes on you in the article. Bad children always is noted as bad parenting when it comes to being famous.